When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
