I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
