so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
they're like a gay fantastic four
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My vagina is very pro this idea
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
