Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize