dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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