Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
