Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
