is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
