we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i came on her dog
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We left the knife in your bed.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
