We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
