What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
