I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
