I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
