I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
