last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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