You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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