Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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