it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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