I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
