girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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