i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
