i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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