I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
