Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
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