She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
