Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
