And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
