I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
