I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
