He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
