Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
