After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
