I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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