You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
