If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
