my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize