I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
