boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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