After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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