she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
