I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize