Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
