i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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