piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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