i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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