Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it

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(802): View more from Vermont

i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem

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(206): View more from Washington

Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed

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(250): View more from British Columbia

SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.

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(519): View more from Ontario

the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life

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(318): View more from Louisiana

You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...

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