this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
