i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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