No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
