last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
