seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
