I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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