As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
