Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
