I wish i was in the wii world.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
