everyone is single if you try hard enough
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I currently don't understand fingers.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
