Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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